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Just a twentysomething living my life and, as most my age, figuring it out as I go,

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Faith Like Peter

"During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. 'It is a ghost', they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: 
        'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.' 
        'Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.' 
        'Come,' he said. 
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out 
        'Lord, save me!'
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 
        'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, 
         'Truly you are the son of God.' " 
                                            Matthew 14:25-33

I bet by now you're thinking,  Wait a second. Isn't the title of this 'Faith Like Peter'? Wasn't that story about his doubt? Yes and yes.

I have been having a faith like Peter lately. Peter is the first to jump out of the boat and onto the water. He has such a great faith that Jesus can help him walk on water that he eagerly calls to Jesus and willingly climbs out of the safety of the boat and into the torrent of the stormy sea.
I am Peter.

A year ago, I decided that God had put a nudging on my heart for missions, and it was my responsibility to see where that nudging led. Now, a year later, I am in the midst of support raising to move to England for a year to share the Good News! I eagerly jumped out of my safety in America, into the storm of a new country, new culture, new friends. I trusted that Jesus was standing beside me all the way, helping me to walk on the water.

And as soon as my feet touched water, I panicked. I looked around at the wind and the struggle that is ahead of me, and I started to doubt myself and, more importantly, to doubt God. I knew in my head that God can do the impossible. That He could provide support for me to go; that He could surround me when I felt alone in a new place; that He could lead me exactly where I needed to be. But my heart doubted. I began to sink.
I am Peter.

It wasn't until a few days ago that I finally gave up my stubbornness and cried out "Lord, save me!" Just like Peter. I rushed in with such faith, but my doubt overwhelmed me. My faith seemed to be overshadowed by my doubt in myself. Just like Peter. And in my sinking, God looked at me and said "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

I just got my first official supporter last week. I was having dinner with a friend, catching up on life, and she looked at me and said that she had money for me for England. Which I was so grateful to hear. But that's not good enough for God. My friend told me the story that this amount of money fell into her lap, as she had been praying about being able to support me in this ministry opportunity. She said she reread my support letter and that the money was exactly what I had asked her to give. I, firstly, couldn't believe that I had my first supporter, but I was even more amazed that in the midst of my sinking and doubt, that God was at work. I could not be more grateful for the story that comes with this first commitment of support. It is such a beacon to me, standing in the middle of the torrent, that God is faithful--even when I have faith like Peter.

We sang this song at a retreat I was on last weekend, and the words stuck out to me as we sang. But I forgot about it, until this morning at church, when we sang the same song. And the story of Peter ran through my mind. It's called Oceans, by Hillsong United. It's a great song about following God into the uncertainty, but I want to share a few of the lyrics that have stuck out to me. The second verse says
"Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now"
I think the first step to getting over the doubt is to recognize it. So as I realize my doubt while I'm sinking in the water, I am remembering these words from Oceans and God's faithfulness to never fail me. I know that while my feet may fail me and I may fall short, God never will. He doesn't have feet. And He can't fail.

So if--like me--you have faith like Peter, take heart. Jesus still loves Peter, despite his doubt out on the water.

2 comments:

  1. Hello a Christ of God. So good to know you through your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I am glad to stop by your blog post and know your passion to reach out by taking the Word to the outskirt of London. I would like to invite you to Mumbai, India to come and work with us in the slums of Mumbai among the poorest of poor to bring healing to the brokenhearted and good news to the captives. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, india and have been in the ministry for last 36 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We have had many young people coming from England through Oasis and Interserve Organisation to work with us. We would love to have you come to Mumbai with your friends to work with us and reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ sharing good news and bringing healing to the brokenhearted. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. Looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends also wishing you a blessed and a Christ centered rest of the NEW YEAR 2016

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