Midst of the Fire

We have started singing a song recently at church called "Cast My Cares" by Tim Timmons. The verse reads, 

"In the middle of the night

When worry finds me

In the middle of the fight

When strength is gone

In the middle of a fire

When fear is closing in

You are, You are my song

You're my hope, when hope is gone"

I love it! It gets stuck in my head quite frequently and I find myself unknowingly humming it or repeating the tune over and over in my head. It reminds me of those times of falling at the feet of God, exhausted and helpless, saying I don't even know what to ask because I can't find the words I am so tired, but knowing that in that exhaustion God is leading me through. The chorus goes on to say 

"I will cast my care on you, the Almighty.

I will cast my cares on you cause you're good.

I will cast my cares on you cause you love me..."

And there is the hope. I am not, but I know I Am! I am weak and fragile, but I can take all of those burdens and set them on the shoulders of my God. Praise!

Tonight at my Wednesday night devotional, we read Lamentations 3 and talked about the hopeless exhaustion that comes with this life but that through it all, God is sovereign and He is present. 

Lamentations 3:7-9, 21-23 says, 

"He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked. 

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord ’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

What a blessing to know that no matter what we go through (if you read the whole chapter, it talks about chewing gravel and being pierced by arrows and being mangled by animals and some other really unpleasant things) we will not be overtaken or consumed by them because we have God! And God is so faithful! He is strong. He loves us.

This morning, an old friend spoke in my Bible class, sharing what God has taught him during his time as a youth minister. One point that really stood out to me as he talked was about taking opportunities. As he shared a bit about his experience, he commented on how we tend to wait for our struggles to be tied up neatly before we share them with others, but too often we miss out on the opportunity to minister in those times when we are actually going through the fire. He said that he decided to share with his teens what he has been going through because "in the end, I believe I will come out faithful." And all day, those words have echoed in my ears. To look at a situation where you feel far from God, and know that you can accept your struggles and sin and hurt because, in the end, faith overcomes. 

Zechariah 13:9-

"This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’"

Sometimes, we have to be put straight into the fire, refined like silver to the point of changing states, and then molded back into what we are intended to be.

I have to confess that I had started this blog earlier today, with the intent of sharing the fire I am going through. With the hope that inviting others into my mess-and encouraging others to let those around them into their own messes. Yet, as I wrote, the words seemed stuck; stifled. They seemed hollow and choppy, like I was forcing the post. So I threw it out. It went against the mission of my blog-to share things that would be beneficial to others, and not just things that I wanted to talk about. 

However, I think that God wanted me to share this idea of being in the midst of the fire. He kept nudging me throughout the day, so here I press on with new intent. And while I feel I am going through the fire in some fashion, my words are not what needed to be written. I pray that this can be a call to hope for those of you going through a fire of your own, no matter how big or small it may be. To know that whatever you are going through, God will come out victorious-with you right beside Him!